Hard knocking on Heaven’s door…
I dunno. Maybe it’s me.
Just tried to explain something that is at the core of how I function to someone I care a great deal about, only to be rebuffed and put down for it. Painful.
Here’s the underlying principle: Time is the great equalizer, the closer of doors.
Before beginning, of your own volition, any important change in your life, you must have a great deal of enthusiasm for the potential this change can bring.
“Of your own volition” means this excludes life changes imposed upon you by external factors. A break-up, illness, death of a close one – all major changes, but not things you would anticipate with any pleasure.
Desire precedes changes. At any given point your life seeks some form of equilibrium, and at least enough to satisfy the basic needs as described by Maslow: At the very least you must have air, sleep, food, water and at least some sense of safety.
Once you get those things, and only then, you can consider achieving higher goals and filling higher needs.
Equilibrium, even in some dysfunctional form, can become quite comfortable, and to risk breaking this nice and known routine implies an attractive payoff at the end.
It’s a risk/reward thing: If you don’t see the reward as worthwhile, there will be no motivation to incur the risk.
Now to more personal implications: For me to take the plunge, break equilibrium and take a chance on a new project, I simply MUST be enthusiastic about that project. And for me to be enthusiastic about a project, I must see all the positive potential it may have, because I am cautious by nature, and what really jumps at me are the pitfalls, the risks.
It’s not being blind, understand – I see both the good and the bad, in potentia. That’s how I evaluate a project at the outset, right? I don’t jump blind, I do my research, I compare notes…
However, what happens is that some facts can only be gathered first hand, and the only way to do that is to be inside. How often have you been real gun-ho on something, only to find out stuff that turns you off later? That happens to me on a regular basis, simply because I also try new stuff and look at new projects on a regular basis as well.
It’s nothing but a normal curve: 50% of all solid looking opportunities turn out below average. Of the remaining half, only a few will turn out to be stars.
The disappointment issue happens when a project that started by looking like a great candidate to stardom goes to the dogs. You’ve taken a calculated risk, paid the cost of taking that chance, and don’t get the payoff.
That’s what I mean by Time being the closer of doors. As you embark on a new venture, the world is yours, and many wonderful possibilities seem open to you., both short term and long term. I let my mind wander and smile at those things that could be, later, if only…
And then Time comes in, and as you gather those facts missing from your original analysis of the situation, those that can only be gathered once inside and those you simply missed, the scope narrows, as some things you saw as possible are no longer available to you.
If you think negatively, then that’s all there is to it, this narrowing of possibilities, this closing of doors, until that wonderful new adventure becomes an other equilibrium anchored in predictable routine.
Meanwhile you are missing on the unexpected new doors that ALSO open along the road.
There are of course situations where you were absolutely, entirely wrong. You made a mistake, misjudged your leap and fell on your face. There is no point in looking at the sky and screaming “Why me?!?” with your fist raised in anger: Dust yourself and get back up. We all make mistakes.
So I was accused of looking to far ahead at those ‘What if…” things, getting enthusiastic about possibilities that may never be realized, and ending up disappointed. This is partially true: I do that, and had my share of let downs after getting girlish-giddy at the start of a new venture.
However, I don’t mope about it: I made mistakes, and hopefully learned from them. In business school they were called KITAs: Kicks In The A… and remain one of the best way to learn and grow. Others call it the School Of Hard Knocks. Graduates will know what I’m talking about.
And I’ve also had my shares of winners. As I said, it’s a normal curve.
What matters here is that if it was not for this enthusiasm for potential, I could not take those chances, and in fact I would probably never get out of bed again. So what kind of life is that? Get a small basement studio and go on welfare until I die?
No thanks.
This is not about the new job, by the way, though I guess it applies. I’d rather think the best until proven wrong, and so far nothing in this career change is proving it wrong, quite the opposite!